Saturday, December 24, 2011

Beneath the Green Tree.

A year ago, Dad started this really great tradition. As of last year, our family doesn't place presents under the Christmas tree until the night of Christmas Eve.

We purchase our gifts and wrap them all nice and pretty just like most families do, but we stow them away in closets and underneath beds until the night before Christmas.

We leave the space underneath the tree bare so we can remember the most important celebration of the Christmas season: Christ's birth. Instead of staring at the boxes and bags and wondering what we got for Christmas this year, we look at empty space beneath the tree and remember that Christ's birth is more important than any Christmas gift we could ever receive.

When Dad started this a year ago, I decided to write a poem about it. I started to think about all of the symbolism behind the idea of this new family tradition. I loved everything that it meant to my Dad and our family. I stayed up late on Christmas Eve and wrote the poem, posting it here on my blog.

Now, a year later, I've had a request to post the same poem. I'm not a practiced poet... but here's the story behind this Paxman Family Tradition. The poem is titled, "Beneath the Green Tree"

Beneath the Green Tree
A long time ago
In Galilee
A Bright star shown
For the world to see.

A small babe was born
In Bethlehem
And would suffer here
To atone for men.

See, before His time
The world was dim
And many people
Waited for Him.

 But under the star
He was sent to earth
And our lives would change
Because of His birth

So many would travel
From places afar
To see this babe, 
Born 'neath the star.

Twas Jesus Christ
In the manger lay,
Hence the greatest gift
Was given that day.

Now years gone by
We cherish his life
We remember his glory
And in solemn, his strife.

And every year
Many put up a tree
With a star placed on top
As was in Galilee

But under our tree
No presents will lay
For Christ wasn't born
Until Christmas day.

So gifts are still wrapped
Stowed away with care,
But until Christmas day
'Neath the tree remains bare.

We remember how empty
This world that we live in
Would be, if our Savior 
Had never been given.

Then on Christmas Night
Beneath star and tree,
Gifts are carefully laid
For the family to see.

To resemble that night
When born was God's Son
The best gift to us
That ever would come.

 I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday. Merry Christmas Eve, and much love.

Friday, December 23, 2011


Behold... the devastating evidence of a serious disaster. 

This, I know, is a major problem. Overcooked hot chocolate exploding in the microwave is simply not going to suffice when I have a handsome husband and hungry children of my own to satisfy. 

Being a poor college student, I can currently get away with eating ramen noodles, PB&J sandwiches, Ice cream, and microwaveable chicken breasts for the majority of my meals. Unfortunately, these eating habits are not desirable when raising a family.

This fact - that I am not a very good cook - is the result of living a childhood where most of my dinners were spent at the ballet studio. When most little girls were in the kitchen every evening learning how to cook with Mommy, I was hard at work learning my pirouettes and grand jetés. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved my ballet years, and ballet introduced me to musical theatre. 
Dance and theatre... two things that I absolutely couldn't live without.

But now I'm an adult with the cooking skills of a seven-year-old. Okay that's a bit of a hyperbole; With a little work, I can follow a recipe just fine. And usually (unlike last night) I have no problem heating up a cup of cocoa. 

I promise... I can make a decent meal. I'm not that bad.

But I am definitely no Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker.
I'm just learning. It's a work in progress.
...New Year's Resolution, perhaps?

P.S. That IS indeed my new Disney Princess Mug. It really is adorable, if you can imagine it without the burnt chocolate that is currently caked all over Sleeping Beauty.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Bosom Friend.

Bosom friends are two people who were always destined to be best friends. Bosom friends are connected on a freakishly weird level. Bosom friends live and think on the same plane. Bosom friends are the ones who can go long amounts of time without seeing each other (although this is NOT preferable), and still talk to each other like they haven't been separated for a single day.

Brittany Hathaway is the first (of only two) bosom friends I have had so far in my entire life. You know... the person who just 'clicks' with you from day numero uno. That was us. We met in Sunday school four-and-a-half-ish years ago. She was the new girl from New Jersey, and I was the only theatre geek in a ward full of sporty girls. The rest, as they say, is history.

Basically, we've been best friends ever since.

I am grateful for my "bosom friend". I am grateful for random one-something in the morning text messages that are clearly inspired. You couldn't have had more perfect timing. I am grateful for being able to finally have someone to talk to (and I mean really talk to) even if it was only for an hour at one in the morning.

You listen to me, you understand me, you love me for who I am, you laugh with me, and you keep me sane.

I needed that. Especially tonight. Thanks for letting me invade your home at one in the morning. Thanks for  just listening. Thanks for knocking some sense into me.

Love you Britt. Thanks for being my bosom friend.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

A winter weekend in Ogden.

I can't believe how much I've been missing Ogden while I'm home with my family for the holidays.

Clarification: I can't believe how much I've been missing the people in Ogden while I'm home with my family for the holidays. Let's face it- Ogden itself will never be quite as homey or lovely as Riverton...although it is growing on me the longer I'm here.

I wish I could combine my Riverton World and my Ogden World. I hate feeling torn all the time. Sometimes when I'm in Ogden I find myself missing my best friend Brittany, The Group, and The Riverton YSA 1st Ward. I always miss my family when I'm away at school. Now when I'm in Riverton I find myself missing my theatre family and the folk dancers. It's a no-win situation here. 

In all reality, I don't think I would want to mix my Riverton life with my Ogden life. It's not that I'm two different people or I'm actually living two different lives or anything, but Riverton serves as a getaway from busy school life and stress. If Riverton and Ogden were the same place, I don't know where I would escape to for some relaxation time. ;)

But anyway, I've been missing my Ogden friends while I've been at home in Riverton for the past week. Last Friday though, I drove back up to my apartment to spend the weekend in Ogden. It's been a wonderful three days back up at school. Here's the recap:

I made the trip back to Ogden in the late afternoon. Friday evening I drove to Sam Howe's residence for the Folk Dance Christmas Social. I had such a wonderful time with the team. We had a delicious dinner, played games, socialized, ate lots of goodies, and watched The Polar Express. I enjoyed socializing upstairs with various team members and singing around the piano with my friends. We also played the improvisation game, "Late for Work" and I couldn't stop laughing... our team is so hilarious!

The team also had a Pajama Gift Exchange. I  gave pajamas to one of my closest friends on the team, Karina Spencer. It was hard to keep everything a secret from her, considering she asked me who I had for PJ's the day we drew names out of the hat. But, with the use of my acting skills, she was thoroughly surprised to find out her pajamas were from me! Ashton Smith gave me some super-comfy pajamas! He even named them, "Richard Lime Rickey". I don't know how I feel about my pajamas having a boy name... but the pants are the colors of a lime rickey (purple and lime green)... and I love them. Thanks Ashton!

We had a wonderful time, and I was out until 1:15am. But it was so worth it.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love love LOVE the Folk Dance Team. Being a part of the team has been one of my favorite college experiences. Hands Down.

I took advantage that today was one of my first opportunities to sleep in since school got out for the holidays. I woke up at 8:30 and got ready for a trip to The Bountiful Temple to do baptisms for the dead. I met Sam, Ashton, and Allison Winsor at the Park and Ride in South Weber. We carpooled to the temple and spent a good two hours there and performed some great work. Sam and Ashton got to baptize and confirm both Allison and I. It was such a spiritual experience.

Allison and I were talking about how grateful we are to have friends like Sam and Ashton who hold the priesthood. We admire those boys so much. It's comforting to know that we have friends who honor their priesthood keys and could help us if we ever needed it. Not to mention, they are both handsome men! ;) We felt lucky to spend the day with them.
After the temple Sam had to leave for a little while, so Ashton, Allison and I went to Allison's house for some hot chocolate. We visited in Allison's front room until Sam came back, and then the four of us went to Costa Vida for lunch and visited some more! We probably spent a good two hours at Costa Vida. I love that I have friends who can just sit around and talk for hours and never get bored.

After an enjoyable afternoon with my friends, I went back home and got ready for my date! I spent Saturday evening with Jordan Smith (also from the team.) He invited me to his work Christmas party for dinner! We ate at The Maddox in Brigham City. The food there was delicious. I am addicted to the hot rolls and raspberry butter. I also tried Bison Steak... and surprisingly enough, I liked it! I had the opportunity of meeting Jordan's parents and brother at dinner (they all work together) and I really enjoyed the company of Jordan and his family. After dinner we had a white elephant gift exchange, and I am now the proud owner of two Disney Princess Mugs. (I may or may not have chosen my own white elephant gift...)

After dinner, Jordan and I went and saw the new Sherlock Holmes at the movie theater! It was a great movie. I enjoyed it just as much as the first one. Thanks for an awesome date, Jordan!

Today I practically dragged myself out of bed for church. My original plan was to drive back home this morning and attend church with the singles ward in Riverton, but I decided to invite a group of friends over to my place this evening to watch 17 Miracles and have some ice cream. So today I've had a lazy day in Ogden. After church I had a three hour nap (ridiculous!) and now I'm just relaxing at home until the folkers come over for ice cream. 

After the movie I'm heading back to Riverton! It's been a great couple of days, Ogden. Thanks to everyone who made it a fun weekend. Two more weeks until Spring Semester! Crazy!

Happy Holidays everyone. Much love!

Saturday, December 10, 2011


First and foremost, everyone should come to the Folk Dance Christmas Showcase tonight. The event will be held at the Ogden LDS Institute building at seven thirty this evening, and admission is free. The team has decided to hold this informal performance for friends and family, to showcase all of the dances we have been working on this semester. It will be a wonderful evening of dance, music, song, culture, and holiday spirit. I'd love to see you there!

With that said...

I can't believe The Holidays are already here! It was a crazy semester... and it all happened so quickly! It feels like yesterday that I was sitting in a circle with the AAT board planning the opening social and getting ready to fly to Colorado to see Elise. Now the semester is over, and it's crazy to think back to the past eleven weeks and remember all of the fun memories this semester brought me! 

After the show tonight, I pack up for home and then drive back to Riverton tomorrow. I'm looking forward to spending a couple of weeks with my family. Fall Semester is over... so what now? Well, I've got a lot planned, and I'm excited!

Winter Break Plans
Above all, I'm looking forward to spending time with my family. Sure, they only live an hour away... but I miss them a whole lot. I'm hoping we take a trip to temple square to see the lights, and I already know we're going on a nativity tour sometime soon.

It's been decided: I'm working over the Christmas break! I'm lucky enough to have Port of Subs to return to during the holidays, and I'm actually excited to work there for a couple of weeks. I enjoy spending time with my POS family. Having a job during the break will keep me busy (I'm not going to sit around on my lazy bum for the next three weeks!) and it will give me a chance to earn a little extra mulah. I can always go for some more cash.

Other than that, Christmas break is a time to reunite and party with friends! I already have a ladies lunch date in the making with Meagan Desmond and Ashley Berg. I love those girls so much. We've been through a lot of growing up together (friends since we were three years old!). I'm also hosting a Christmas get-together with The Group. It'll be lovely to see all of them again. On the 16th of December I'm going to the Folk Dance Christmas Social, and I'm also hoping to visit a few other friends before spring semester starts.

Spring Semester Plans:
I'm happy about next semester. I'm enrolled in Script Analysis, Scene Study for Musical Theatre, Private Voice Study, Human Development, Dance for Musical Theatre, Hip Hop, and Stage Makeup. I've heard that Script Analysis is kick-butt, so I tried to avoid taking several extremely difficult classes in the spring. I want to be able to focus on Script Analysis and ace the class! I'm taking Hip Hop on Saturday mornings... the class is only a half-semester long, but I can already tell it's going to take great motivation to get up early Saturday mornings! I'm detremined to do it though, and I'm taking the class with the Welches (two of my favorite people!) so we'll have a good time.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed to be on a crew next semester. I didn't get the opportunity to be on a crew with the theatre department in the fall because of my involvement with Sleepy Hollow, so I would love to be on a crew in the spring! Weber State is also hosting KCACTF in the spring, and I'm ecstatic about that. It's going to be hecka crazy, but I can't wait for the festival!

I'm going to continue dancing with the folkers next semester. I am in love with the team. Folk Dance has been such a wonderful experience for me this year. Along with that, I'll be continuing my duties for the Folk Dance Presidency and the AAT board next semester. I love the team and the board... and even though it keeps me busy, I look forward to meetings every week! I love feeling organized and responsible.

Oh, and I'm taking "Dating and Courtship" at the institute next semester! hehe :)

Other Plans?
Bre and Addison Welch suggested a few weeks ago that I audition for Summer Stock at The Playmill Theatre in West Yellowstone, Montana. The more they told me about the experience, the more I wanted to audition. After a lot of thought and prayer (as well as a talk with my parents)... I decided that I'm going to audition!

I REALLY want to work at Playmill next Summer. I'm going to start preparing for my auditions now! I'm driving up to Rexburg in February to audition. The more I think and pray about it, the more excited I get. I would LOVE to have a job over the Summer where I get to do what I love to do most.

Anyway, the whole Summer Stock idea just recently became a realistic plan... so there will be more details to come about this new and exciting adventure. Let's keep our fingers crossed that all will work out as planned!

So that's where life sits, my friends. A lot of fun plans in the future. I love my life! Right now though, I'm mostly focusing on some "me" time and enjoying The Holidays while they last. The year 2011 is wrapping up quickly, and I'm just soaking it all up while I can!

Hope everyone is enjoying the happy season. Love you all. :)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Love I look to you, and I sing...

I was introduced to this song today. I think it's quite beautiful. 
The lyrics and message are perfect for the holiday season. 
Oh and the music? Gorgeous. Then again, who doesn't love a little Sara Bareilles?

School is officially out for winter break. This makes me jovial. :)
And that's all for tonight. Happy Holidays everyone, much love.

Love is Christmas
 I don’t care if the house is packed,
Or the strings of light are broken.
I don’t care if the gifts are wrapped,
Or there’s nothing here to open.

Love is not a toy, and no paper will conceal it.

Love is simply joy that I’m home.

I don’t care if the carpet's stained; we've food upon our table.

I don’t care if it’s gonna rain, our little room is warm and stable.

Love is who we are, and no season can contain it.

Love would never fall for that.


Let love lead us, love is Christmas.

Why so scared that you’ll mess it up? Imperfection keeps you haunted.

All you need is your best my love, that’s all anyone ever wanted.

Love is how we do, let no judgment overrule it.

Love I look to you, and I sing.


Let love lead us, love is Christmas.

Let love lead us, love is Christmas.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

This is what makes me happy.

*Walks from The Institute to The Union on cold Saturday evenings.
*Waltzing in pretty white dresses
*Rolls with butter and homemade jam
*Twinkling Christmas lights
*Once Upon a Time
*Michael Buble's Christmas CD
*Text messages that take me by surprise
*Farrs Fresh ice cream. Twice.
*Toll House cookie dough
*Hot chocolate and candy canes. Mixed together.
*Phone calls from best friends
*Letters from best friends
*Singing Christmas songs
*The Notebook
*The First Presidency Christmas Fireside
*Just talking
*Small acts of kindness
*Sleeping in
*Christmas parties in the making
*Small inspirations
*Chocolate peanut butter heath shakes
*A clean bedroom

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Weekend in Review.

It was a wonderful, wonderful weekend. The majority of my time was spent performing with the Folk Dance team. And boy, did I have a blast dancing with them this weekend. Here's the scoop on the last couple of days.

...was insane. I had several final projects/comprehensive tests that were all scheduled that day. It was one of the most stressful days of the semester, hands down. You know those ''throw on some clothes, no hair, no makeup'' days? That was Friday for me. And of course I ended up running into awesome people on the ONE day when I look like crap. But I survived. It was the last day of fall semester classes! I made it through another semester at Weber State University. Huzzah!

Friday evening was the opening night of the Institute Christmas Spectacular. We had a fantastic opening night performance. I probably cannot put into words how much I enjoyed spending time with my fellow folkers this weekend. Friday's performance went fairly well, and I was excited to have my mom and sister in the audience for support. When the show was finished I talked to my family and introduced them to some of my friends from the team. I also ran into my friends Kevin and Chris Neff, who were kind enough to drive from Riverton to come see me in the show! Thanks for the support, boys! I really appreciated it, and it was fun to see you!

After the show, the cast went to the institute building for a cast party! The institute provided pizza, drinks, salads, and desserts. We all gathered together and celebrated the opening of the show. I had a great time talking with Annie Odendahl, Karina Spencer, Jack Shapiro, Sam Howe, and some of the other folk dancers while we were there!

Then, Jack and I decided to ditch the cast party early and get some ice cream. We invited the rest of the team to join us, but most of the folkers went to Ben Eschler's apartment to watch a movie. I ended up driving three boys to Jake's Over The Top for shakes! Imagine that... I was lucky enough to take THREE handsome boys out to ice cream. (I don't know what all of the other girls were thinking... they missed out!) I enjoyed a Chocolate Reeses Heath Shake and ate my ice cream with Jack, Sam Howe, and Jordan Smith. I adore all three of these guys, and we had fun visiting over delicious ice cream.

After our sweet splurge, the three boys and I drove to Ben's apartment to watch the new X-Men movie with the rest of the team. The entire team squished on the couches in the common room. Jack and I had already seen the movie, so we spent the majority of the time poking fun at different scenes. Oh and Sam is apparently a X-Men Guru... I learned many new facts sitting next to him. It was entertaining (Things are so much funnier when you're tired!) I had such an amazing time. It made for a late night... I didn't get home until two in the morning, but it was so worth it!

I woke up at about 9am and drove to the Browning Center to perform in Maddie Tarbox's Directing Scene. We had a successful performance, and Maddie was sweet enough to give her cast these little holiday bowls full of candy and cinnamon rolls. It was a good start to a great day.

I came home and curled my hair, and then it was time for the matinee performance of the Christmas show! I went back to the Browning Center and got ready for another performance! I loved listening to music in the dressing room and talking Sadie Martineau, Shae Jackman, and the rest of the amazing girls on the team while we got ready. We had another successful show (probably my best of the three performances) and then we went to the institute for lunch. The institute served us Zupas! It was delicious.

We had one more show that evening. While I was touching up my curls before the last show, I burnt my hand on the curling iron! I managed to wrap my entire hand around the iron before realizing that I was touching the metal! I've gotten burns before... you know the usual: curling irons, flat irons, pots, pans, hot-glue guns. But this hurt like none-other! Luckily I had 22 genuine friends to help me out; but my hand continued to throb, sting, and burn throughout the night. One of the girls provided me with an extra sports bra which we soaked in cold water... and it became my new friend for the night. I held onto that thing the entire time I was offstage. (Sports Bra... creative, right?) Maybe I'm just a big baby, but it hurt.

Other than the curling-iron incident, I had such a fun time! The run of the show was too short, and it was over before I knew it! The last show was fun because the boys kept tricking us! At the end of Bavarian Polka they swept us off our feet into a cradle position, at the end of Hopak they kissed us on the cheek, and at the end of the clog they dragged us off the stage! When we walked into the dressing room each of the girls was surprised with a rose, a cupcake and a card signed by all of the boys. (We gave all of the guys a card that read, "Out of all the fish in the sea, you're the one for me." with a goldfish. Yep. A real, live fish.) We love our folk dance men!

After the last show I walked up to the lobby and ran into Landon Welch! He also came to support me. I was so happy to see him. Thanks Landon! After visiting with the audience, we all helped clean the dressing rooms. Then it was time for another party! The entire team went to Shae's house to watch a movie and play games. I carpooled with Karina and Jack and we made a pit stop at McDonalds for drinks on the way to Shae's place! When we arrived, everyone was watching The Adjustment Bureau, which didn't last long because pizza came! We ate pizza and ended up playing games. I even introduced the team to Werewolf... a classic group game that I learned from the Riverton Groupies. I didn't get to bed until 3am, but it was another awesome night!

I woke up in the morning with seven tiny blisters on my hand to show for my stupidity. I also slept through my alarm and missed church... finally waking up at 11:30am. (How pathetic!) I relaxed at home for most of the day, and then Jack invited me to watch the First Presidency Christmas Fireside with him and his friends Mallory Higgs and Diana Olson. I had a wonderful time with the three of them!

After spending time at Mallory's, Jack and I went on a redbox adventure to search for The Adjustment Bureau so we could finish watching it. We finally found the DVD at the third redbox station we drove to (in the bitter cold, no less!). We watched the movie at my house. It was an enjoyable and relaxing end to the weekend!

I had a grand time. It was the perfect kick-off for the holidays And now for some pictures:

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Stories for Christmas

The Ogden LDS Institute's 
Annual Christmas spectacular opened tonight.
What a positive experience!
I'm performing in the show with the Folk Dance Team
... and loving every moment.

It's the perfect way to kick-off your holiday season.
Come and see Stories for Christmas
Today at 2pm and 7:30pm at Weber State University
And don't miss out on the winter spirit!

Then, next week Folk Dance is having their first
Christmas Showcase.
We'll be showcasing all of the dances we've learned this semester.
It's on Friday December 10th
At the Ogden LDS Institute Building.
Tickets are free, hope to see you there!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

This Isn't Kansas, Toto.

The wind has been INSANE today. Maybe we aren't in Kansas and we didn't have a tornado... but the Weber/Davis counties experienced winds over 100mph today!

♪ The wind began to switch - the house to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch... The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch. It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch ♪ 

Yup. That's what my professor started to sing today. (In a theatre class. Where else would a professor break out into "Munchkin Land"?) It feels as if Ogden City is going to be blown away right past Kansas and all the way to the Land of Oz, or something.

Really though. I barely made it to the Browning Center for class in the windstorm. During my music theory comprehensive final my entire class watched the roofing come unhinged from the Union Building. We gawked out the window while garbage cans, campus signs, and debris flew across the campus sidewalks.

Weber State sent out a mass text to the students, encouraging us to stay inside. Doors were locked, and a couple of hours later classes were cancelled. After my final I wandered downstairs to BC 230 where my theatre family sat, waiting out the storm. I'm just lucky I got stuck in the Browning Center. (There's no where on campus I'd rather be locked in.)

Throughout the day I witnessed and heard about many crazy things. Trampolines flying across the street, trees being uprooted, glass windows shattering, light poles falling on parked cars, pieces of the WSU clock tower coming loose and breaking the roof of the Union Building.

I even walked past a man holding tissue up to a small bloody gash in his forehead because the wind was so strong it knocked him over. The poor lad was literally swept off of his feet! And... onto his face... Yeah it's okay... I, too, was trying my darndest not to laugh at the poor guy. I felt bad for him, but it was just so unrealistic that I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. You don't hear about people being blown over by the wind every day.

It definitely made for an adventurous morning. Shook things up a bit. Created some excitement. The crazy stories gave us students something to talk about while we were holed up in the Browning Center.

Anyway, here are some pictures I took. That's right. You can bet I went outside after the wind calmed down and captured the footage. I felt like a sneaky disaster scene investigator. Or maybe more like one of those idiots that Dad always makes fun of for gawking at silly things. But I couldn't resist.

All joking aside though... I hope that everyone is okay and that nobody was seriously hurt! Stay safe everyone :) Here are the pictures. Some were taken by me, others were pulled off of facebook.

 The gates surrounding University Village

The door to the stairwell of the Browning Center.
You can't see very well, but the glass is shattered.

 Looks normal at first... but an entire stoplight has been blown off!

 In the parking lot of the Browning Center

 Parts of the new student housing collapsed.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Be Patient With Yourself.


I saw this video in my Sunday school lesson today.
I definitely was supposed to be with the Riverton YSA 1st Ward this week,
Because I know I needed to hear this message.

"To the individual who is weak in the heart, fearful in the heart. Be patient with yourself. Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life. Don't demand things that are unreasonable... but demand of yourself improvement. As you let The Lord help you through that he will make the difference."

 I'm so grateful to have a Heavenly Father who knows me well enough
To guide me to a place where I can learn what I need to learn.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Sunday.
Much love.


*Two of my newest favorite things are White V-Neck Mens Shirts and skinny jeans.

*There's only one week of fall semester classes left. That's five days. And counting.

*Sometimes at the end of a long day you just have to drop everything on the floor at the foot of your bed and crawl under the covers.  (Even if it does leave a mess.) Forget about putting away anything that may be out of place. It can wait until tomorrow.

*Every time I wake up in the middle of the night because Brother is sick again, it still scares me... even though I've done it more times than I probably have fingers to count. I hate being catapulted back into that Primary children hospital/screaming pains/passing out/nighttime trips to the hospital time of his {our} life.

*Chocolate chocolate chip cookies have never tasted so good. Especially when they're fresh out of the oven.

*I've always loved my name. I love the spelling of my name because of how unique it is... however, I think it's more fun to write Bailey in cursive when you spell it with a Y. Because Y's in cursive are just more fun than E's.

*I hate ladybugs. You try eating one, and then maybe you'll be able to relate.

*My bed at my family's home is so much comfier than my bed at school. Sometimes I forget until I come back home and realize how much better I sleep while I'm here.

*One of my pet-peeves is when someone asks me "Are you left-handed?" while they are watching me write with my left hand.

*I am the proud owner of a Harry Potter Coloring Book. Be jealous.

*I am not ashamed to admit that I started listening to Christmas music a week before Thanksgiving this year, despite my strong beliefs to do otherwise.

*I have the chronic hiccups. I hiccup at least once every day. Sometimes people tell me my hiccups sound like a frog being run over by a car. Sometimes people tell me my hiccups sound like a Nazgûl from Lord of the Rings. Other times people just look at me with a funny stare. I don't know which is the worst reaction.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Today i am grateful...

1. For family. For their tolerance, their love, their support, and their examples. I seriously have the best parents and siblings.

2. For an education. For Weber State. For getting a degree doing what I love. For inspiring professors, accepting classmates, and unforgettable experiences.

3. For music and the way it makes me feel. To help me discover, create, and express.

4. For books. For a quiet escape to a world more colorful and adventurous than my own.

5. For second chances. Because no failure ever need be final. For another opportunity to get it right.

6. For hot chocolate. To warm my tummy and my heart.

7. For hot showers. To feel clean and refreshed.

8. For dance. For an emotional outlet, for exercise, and for free expression.

9. For yellow kitchen walls. So I can walk in the front door and feel happy and at home.

10. For blogging. So I can look back and remember small things, special things. So I can pretend to be creative. So I can write.

11. For snow-covered mountains.

12. For hugs.

13. For weekends. To relax, catch my breath, socialize, and sleep.

14. For peanut butter. With chocolate chips, on a slice of toast, with goldfish crackers, on a sandwich... love me some peanut butter.

15. For naps. Whenever I actually have time to take one.

16. For the Folk Dance Team. To be surrounded by lovely people. To dance, to perform, and to feel the spirit.

17. For a dishwasher. So I don't have to do the dishes by hand anymore.

18. For cell phones. So I can call Mom every day. For communication

19. For Elise Vander Does and Brittany Hathaway. For their friendship and loyalty. For the laughing, the crying, the advice, and the memories.

20. For locks on the doors. To feel safe.

21. For prayer. For the best and most convenient form of communication.

22. For the smell of sagebrush and pine after it rains.

23. For talents. To share with others, to grow and learn from, and to feel confident about.

24. For Summer. For warm nights and long days. To have a break from school.

25. For starry nights.

26. For The Associated Actors and Technicians. To feel involved and responsible. To be with friends.

27. For the temple. So I can have an eternal family, feel the spirit, and receive my endowment. So I can be married for eternity.

28. For good health. For medical care and good hospitals.

29. For boys. For gentlemen, for going out on dates. For a future spouse. ;)

30. For my puppy. To greet me when I come home.

31. For sugary sweets.

32. For freedom. For the beautiful country in which I live

33. For airplanes. To travel, to see amazing new things and to travel to exciting places.

34. For computers. For the internet, and for easy access to so much information

35. For white clouds

36. For rainstorms. For thunder, lightning, and the sound of rain on the windowpane.

37. For campfires.

38. For the atonement. To be forgiven of my sins. For the knowledge that Jesus Christ knows and understands anything and everything I may struggle with.

39. For quotes.

40. For colors.

41. For chicken noodle soup.

42. For my car. So I don't have to walk in the cold. So I can always drive back home.

43. For photographs. To capture memories. To freeze time.

44. For fuzzy socks. To keep me warm and happy.

45. For friends and for good conversation with friends.

46. For the Singles Ward. To meet new friends. For a ward family. For a loving bishop.

47. For the priesthood.

48. For laughter. For smiles.

49. For toothpaste. To have minty breath and clean teeth.

50. For love.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Honorary Sister

I thought yesterday was going to be dreary. Shelby mentioned in music theory that the air was like dementors were lurking in the sky... and I couldn't have agreed more. But then Maurie took us out to breakfast for class. And things were all uphill from there. 

I got to visit with Karina a little bit, which was much needed and very nice. She was sweet enough to give me a ride back to my apartment because I left my thumb drive for an English project at home. Then I got to talk to Daddy on the phone for a little while. It's official; I am so ready to be home for the holidays. I miss my family (and I'm excited to let someone else cook yummy food for me!) and I'm ready for a break from Ogden and school for just a little while. I had a successful conference with my English teacher (apparently she loves my writing!), I finished my last speech in Communications, and then I got to eat some pizza at the Open AAT Member Meeting.

Then in Acting for Musical Theatre, Shelby told me something that just made life more fun and Bre invited me to her house for a ladies night! The Xanadu cast and crew were having a girls night... but they were sweet enough to invite me to party with them! I was so excited! I haven't had a girls night in a long time. 

Before the ladies night, I drove to Riverton to see my brother in Annie Get Your Gun. I stopped at Port of Subs on the way home and ordered a sandwich. I miss POS sandwiches! They're so delicious. It was fun to visit with Bri and Brittany, my old coworkers. Bri is getting married soon and invited me to her Bachelorette Party/Bridal Shower. I got an invitation from her and I'm excited to go to her shower this Saturday.

I enjoyed a little time at home (and may have tried on a few Christmas Presents so Mom could make sure they fit!) and then I went to the high school with Grandma, Grandpa, Mom and Brooklyn to see Ben perform. I also saw a couple of friends while I was there. It was such a fun show! Ben did a fantastic job, and I really enjoyed the evening. It made me want to be in a musical again, though.

After the show, I made the drive back up to Ogden and went to Bre's house for the ladies night! I was a bit late because of my brother's show, but we watched House Bunny and ate yummy treats and enjoyed each other's company. I was so happy that the Xanadu Sisters let me join them for the night! I felt like an honorary sister. I was so lucky to be there with all those ladies! I love them, they're so great :)

I got home around one in the morning, so it made for a late night... but it was worth it. I love when potentially-dreary days prove me wrong!

Just a recap of all the lovely things I enjoyed yesterday...

Breakfast in music theory
Karina time
Phone call with Daddy
Compliment from English Professor
No more speeches in Communications
Invite to ladies night
Port of Subs Sandwich
Family time
Annie Get Your Gun
Ladies Night

What did I say about being happy now? Looks like its working :)
I have a great day ahead of me today and tomorrow. And then Thanksgiving Break!
Life is good.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Maybe the Grass Isn't Green

Too often I think we look at situations in life with a "Grass is always greener on the other side" kind of an attitude. I know that I do it sometimes. I hear those thoughts creeping into my mind all of the time lately.

"I know I'll be happier once fall semester is over"
"I'll be so much more happy when I've finished this English assignment"
"I just need to wait until Friday, then things will be happier."
"Once I get married, I will be happy."
"Just get through this rehearsal today, then I will be a happy camper."
"Once I'm finished with my generals, I will be so happy."

I think we can all hear ourselves saying something along these lines. When we live in such a demanding, stressful world it's not difficult to have that attitude. But why should we waste so much of our time waiting for something happier to happen to us?

The time for change is NOW. Not five minutes from now, not tomorrow, not next week, not in a year or two. NOW. And if we waste so much of our time waiting around for happiness in our futures, we're going to miss out on a lot of happy that could be happening NOW. 

And let's face it: when that happiness in our futures finally comes, we'll probably find other things to be unhappy about. Such is life, my friends. There will always be things to stress about or be unhappy about.

So we should change our attitudes, and we should decide to be happy now. Not five minutes from now, not tomorrow, not next week, not in a year or two. NOW. Not after fall semester, or after the boring english assignment, or this Friday. Not once we're married or once we're finished with college. NOW.

So maybe the grass isn't green. Maybe it is November and it's ugly and brown outside. It's cold, the leaves have fallen, there isn't any snow on the ground to make things pretty, it's the end of the semester, I have way too much homework, my knees hurt, I'm sleep-deprived, and I'm sure there are a million other things to be unhappy about. But gosh dangit, I'm going to be happy NOW. Why wait until this weekend? Why wait until Thanksgiving break or the end of the semester or the new year? I'm going to be happy today. I am going to enjoy the small things, take every day one-step-at-a-time, and relish in my wonderful life.

And you should, too.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sometimes I feel like this:


I just became really happy all of the sudden...
Nine days until Thanksgiving.
Thirty nine days until Christmas.

so So SO SO SO Excited.

Hot chocolate
Holiday music
Pretty lights
Warm houses
Sugar cookies
Pine trees
Jingle bells
Rosy Cheeks
A Christmas Carol
Warm heaters
Christmas decorations
Frosty the Snowman
No school
The Grinch
Green wreaths
Fuzzy socks
Ice skating
It's a Wonderful Life
Homemade rolls

I'm so impatient. And I'm so over my classes. Can the holidays please come quickly?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Another Show Come and Gone

Sleepy Hollow the musical closed last night.
My professor asked me to be in this musical a few months ago,
And I was so excited to be a part of his show.

I played the role of Daemon,
Or the Headless Horseman's Horse.
I know it sounds really odd... I played a horse in a show...
But the musical is the story of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow
With a twist.
The Headless Horseman and his horse are really a groom and bride
(Dietrich and Sabine/Daemon)
Who had a curse placed on them the night of their wedding.

In the end of the show, the curse is lifted and we are reunited
As humans once again. 
The picture above is taken right after the curse has been lifted.
 Yep, that's me! It kind of reminds me of a Disney fairytale. 
Big moon, silhouettes... so pretty.

It was a good experience, but I'm very relieved for the show to be over.
Thirty minutes is a long drive and the show is a huge commitment
When you're a full-time college student.

Sleepy Hollow was a very humbling experience.
Daemon was one of the hardest roles I've had to play,
Because it really is all of the work and none of the praise.
Which is okay, I don't need praise.
But dancing in a horse head and leather pants,
(That don't allow for much leg movement)
And leading around a blind dance partner,
Was extremely difficult.
And it was a lot of time commitment.

But the people were awesome,
And the music and script are wonderful.
I'm glad I got to be in a show at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre
Directed by the talented Jim Christian.

Great show to everyone in the cast of Sleepy Hollow! Keep in touch. Love you all :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

It must be the end of the semester, or something.

The real reason I'm posting today is because it's 11-11-11. I just felt like I should write something on the blog today, since nothing as cool as 11-11-11 will ever happen again in my lifetime. :) I would stay up until 11:11 to make a wish, but I have a 6am dance practice with the folkers tomorrow. And this girl needs her beauty sleep!

Speaking of sleep (or the lack thereof) I am definitely starting to feel the end-of-semester insanity kicking in these days. I wonder why? Let's take a look at my list.

Sleepy Hollow (we close tomorrow!)
Orchesis Wardrobe Crew
18 class credit hours
90 practicum hours
AAT treasurer duties
Folk Dance secretary duties
Folk Dance Christmas show
Directing scene
Church calling


Let's just say that I can't WAIT until Thanksgiving break. I can't wait for the end of the semester, actually. But we're taking things a day at a time here... so I'll look to the Thanksgiving Holiday first. I need a nice relaxing trip to Grandma and Grandpa Pack's house. I need to get out of O-town for a couple of days, drive into the mountains, stay in my grandparents beautiful log home, and spend time with my precious family.

Meanwhile though, there are some wonderful things in my life to keep me going amidst all of the stress.

Learning how to clog
Getting a 64/65 on my english essay
Dinner with parents tomorrow
Going to see Xanadu
Practicing the Waltz in Folk Dance
Hot chocolate
Getting to see Ben in Annie Get Your Gun
Singing "Baby It's Cold Outside"
Eating cereal for dinner at 11pm with Katie
Sugar free Jell-O
The Sing Off and Vampire Diaries
Watching "The Grape Lady" on YouTube
Letters from Elise
New dance shoes

Thank goodness for the little things that give me a chance
To take a breath, smile, and enjoy life.
Four weeks until the semester is over (and counting!)

Oh yeah, and for those of you asking what "The Grape Lady" might be... take a look.

Haha. That poor woman.
I don't know which is worse: The bruises,
Or falling like that on television?

Much love everyone. Happy 11-11-11!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


I got these from somebody tonight, and I've just been all smiles.
Receiving things like flowers always makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Aren't they pretty?

...I love my flowers.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I think my voice is improving. Which gosh dangit it should be, considering how much I'm trying to work on it. Between my Acting for Musical Theatre class and my voice lessons with Maurie, things are moving right along. I'm gaining more confidence to sing in front of my friends, I'm making new discoveries about my voice, and I've actually found myself volunteering to sing for a couple of events. (I'm usually the last person to volunteer singing at a church meeting, concert, or recital.) I'm beginning to look forward to vocal performance opportunities a lot more than I used to.

So why in the heck does my voice freak out every time I sing at a callback? That's not a real question, because I know the answer. It's nerves. All of my training and all of my improvements go down the drain when I sing at a callback, and it's so frustrating. I try to keep calm, I try to swallow back my shivers and butterflies, but every time my nerves get the best of me. Every. Time. And the worst part? I know I can sing the piece that I'm being asked to sing. I know it. I've usually just practiced the exact same piece effortlessly earlier in my voice lesson. I've hit notes stronger and higher before. I've done so much better before. So sure, other people might tell me that I didn't sound BAD in my callback... but it's just the fact that I know I can do BETTER. It's walking away from a callback and feeling like I didn't reach my potential. 

But despite how much I tell myself I have everything under control, for some reason when I sing at a callback my nerves take over and my voice reverts back to it's old habits. My voice goes back to the whole swallowed, airy, breathy, nasty thing that it always used to do.

Especially when I sing more classically, like I did today.

At least I don't sound like that all the time anymore. At least I can nail my initial audition. At least I can sing in church now without sounding completely horrible. At least I can stand up in my Acting for Musical Theatre class and be somewhat satisfied by my performance.

So yeah... I have gotten better. And even before my 'better' days, there are people out there who sound worse than I did. So I have a lot to be thankful for and proud of. But man, callbacks are killin' me! 

Practice, Practice, Practice...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Times Like This

I was going through some files on my computer today, organizing documents and photos... when I came across some random videos that Elise and I made last semester. Can I just say how much I miss her?? 

Of course I can. This is my blog.
Well I miss her. I miss her a whole lot these days. And after watching something like this, who could even think to question why I might miss her so much? 
Who else would ever do stuff like this with me? We are so random and ridiculous. I laughed so hard watching this video. Granted, anyone else who might watch this will probably look at it and seriously reevaluate whether or not they want to be my friend. (I'm sure I just lost a couple of dates, showing this video.) It's okay, I don't blame you ;) Anyway I digress...
Goodness, I forget how different it is this year without her until I watch video clips like this or look at pictures from last year. And let me tell you- things are way different. Not necessarily bad, just different. But one thing's for sure, I miss having her around.
I miss being able to hop in the car to drive all of three minutes to her house (now my house). I miss talking about boys. Sometimes it kills me not being able to have a best friend around to have girly talks with! I miss having someone to go to the dances, firesides, department shows, and parties with me. There have been several times this semester when I've gone to a dance or a fireside by myself. I'm tired of barging in on people's lives and inviting myself to go to activities with them all the time, asking if I can tag along. It's during times like that when I sure could use a friend like Elise. I miss having a true friend who I can call up or be with at any given moment. That's who Elise was (and is) for me. And I'm lucky enough to be able to be that for her too. I couldn't be more grateful. 

Elise and I just understand each other more than anyone else I know (aside from Mom and Brittany). When I talk to people about our friendship they're usually shocked that we haven't even known each other for a year. To be honest, I'm even shocked to think that a year ago Elise wasn't a part of my life. I don't know how I got by without her! It's definitely a hard feat now, only being able to talk with her through letters.

I can't even imagine how it's going to be when we get to see each other again. I'm imagining lots of hugs, lots of screaming, lots of laughter... it will probably be crazy. And I mean caraayyzzyyy. I wonder how different we'll both be? It boggles my mind to think about it. Sometimes a year-and-a-half seems so far away; but when I stop and think about how quickly this semester has flown by, I feel like a year-and-a-half is nothing. I can't wait until she's back! Man, what a team we'll be!

 But until then I look forward to her letters and remember that even if she's not in Ogden, I have a best friend who will always be there for me.
Still though, I can't wait until she comes back.

Guilty Pleasure #43

I am a firm believer that the Christmas tree shouldn't go up until the end of November, and that Christmas music shouldn't be played until after the Thanksgiving holiday.

But tonight while I was driving home from the show at one thirty in the morning... I may or may not have listened to FM 106.5 Christmas radio. The snow was silently floating down and sparkly powder dusted the mountainside. The night was cool and crisp and it felt like magic in the air (what with this being the first weekend we've had snow this season.) The car heater was humming and I felt so happy and warm inside.

... I just couldn't help myself.

Think of it as a sneak-preview. I won't let it happen again though. I don't want to be fed-up with all of the Christmas songs before we're even halfway through December. Come Thanksgiving weekend I can load my Christmas Music Playlist onto my ipod and listen to those holiday jingles to my little heart's content. But for now I can wait.

It was only a little indulgence.
And now I hear a cup of hot cocoa calling my name...

But gosh... I enjoyed listening to those happy little tunes.
I just love this time of year!
Yeah -- I'm shameless.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

If, Because, and Even Though

I'm sitting up in bed and keeping warm with three big blankets, a big hoodie, and my favorite warm fuzzy socks. I was about to call it a night and catch up on some sleep, but I couldn't stop admiring the night time view outside my window... we had our first snow of the season, and it looks absolutely beautiful outside. 

So what do I do? I blog, naturally.

Today in our large-group institute meeting I heard something that really hit me. I don't know why, but it kinda stuck with me. I actually really liked the idea. It was all about love (Bailee talking about love on her blog? Now that's weird.) There are three different ways in which we go about loving someone.
Sometimes we love someone if...
Sometimes we love someone because...
And sometimes we love someone even though...

Hopefully everyone has experienced all three kinds of love. We all know about loving someone if... Maybe we love someone if they give us a certain satisfaction. Maybe we love someone if they prove something valuable to us. Or perhaps we love someone if they meet all of our requirements. I think this kind of love can potentially be very selfish. When we love someone if, we only love that person on certain terms. After all, IF is not ALWAYS.

To love someone because is what happens after someone fulfills the IF part of the first kind of love. Maybe we love someone because they give us a certain satisfaction. Maybe we love someone because they proved something valuable to us. Or perhaps we love someone because they meet all of our requirements. When we love someone because, that someone gave us a reason to love them. Honestly, I think that the first two kinds of love will sometimes go hand-in-hand.

The third kind of love is the strongest. What is it to love someone even though? I think to love someone even though is to love someone with their faults. This kind of love is unconditional. Even though we may not like something about someone, even though someone may have hurt us in the past, even though we may disagree with someone, or even though someone made a mistake, we choose to love them anyway. I think it's hard to try and really love someone even though.

I know our Savior loves us even though. I would hope with all of my heart that families love each other even though, but I know that sometimes this is not the case. I'm lucky enough to know that my family loves me even though sometimes I'm stupid. It's a hard thing... to love someone even though. I think it's something everyone should work towards. Loving even though. Everyone deserves to be loved even though. We all want to be loved even though.

Anyway, I know that this is all really random. I had never heard it before though, and I wanted to write about it before I forgot. I just felt that it was... profound.

I guess it's because I know that I'm not perfect. I'm really grateful for the people who love me even though. Maybe remembering that about myself will help me to be better about loving others even though

It's a daunting task... but think about the unity that would come from everyone striving for the third kind of love. 

It could be really powerful.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

just something fun.

Fashion. Music. Dancing. Love it.
A fun little taste of simple happiness for your day. :) enjoy!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Splendidly Spooktacular :)

The 2011 Halloween season flew by really fast... I can't believe that October is already over. Only a month and two-ish weeks until the semester is over. Crazy? I think so. Just when I think life can't move any faster...

Anyway, the holiday was an awesome time. Last Friday night AAT had their Halloween/gender bender Cabaret Night, "CaBOOret". It was such a successful event. I dressed up as a pirate (original, I know) and ran concessions with the Yin to my Yang, Connor Padilla. The decorations were superb, the talent was amazing, and the company was nothing short of wonderful. The event was well-attended, and it was another reaffirmation of how much I love this department and the people who are in it.
After cabaret night I ventured over to the Union for a multi-stake Halloween dance. After several minutes of searching for a familiar face (all the while feeling like a loser), I finally ran into my folk dance friends. It was good to see them all there. The dance was a flop, so Karina Spencer and I grabbed a pizza and went to her house for some good-quality girl time. She introduced me to the TV show "The Sing Off" and now I'm completely and totally obsessed. We watched episodes of the show until two in the morning! haha. I was really needing a friend that night, and I'm glad Karina and I got to get to know each other a little bit better. She's a fantastic girl, and I hope we can become great friends!
 Saturday night I went to the Folk Dance Halloween Social! I dressed up in my pirate costume and drove to Kaysville with Alex Sorenson for the party. We all had a blast! It was my sugar day (the only one until Thanksgiving) and so I ate pumpkin cheesecake, candy corn, candy pumpkins, sugar cookies, and Jack Shapiro and I even went to Dylan's for some pumpkin shakes. They were delicious! I had a blast with the team. We played a variety of group games, ate some delicious food, and spent time getting to know each other better.
Today was nice too. The school day wasn't different from any other day, except that I wore orange and black and my Frankenstein earrings. I also had an amazing performance experience with Lindsea Garside in Acting for Musical Theatre. I cannot adequately explain how much I enjoy that class.

Then, tonight Jack Shapiro and I went and saw Sleepy Hollow. It was a fun experience to watch the other cast perform the show, and it was such a festive activity for Hallows Eve. :) I'm glad Jack came with me to see it, we had a fun time visiting with each other and watching the show. (And indulging in some sugar-free candy, too.)

Then when I got home, I watched the newest episode of the Vampire Diaries. I still can't believe my roommates last year got me addicted to this silly show. ;) Gotta love some hot boys and some drama! haha. It's an entertaining show, that's for sure. And it was the perfect ending to a spooky Halloween!

Hope everyone else enjoyed their holiday festivities :)