Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Porch < Pool

I love summer evenings. I just settled down on the front porch with some gourmet chocolate bites from The Sweet Tooth Fairy Shop and a big glass of milk, ready to blog away about my life in the warm evening weather when...

My friends invited me to go swimming! You haven't the slightest idea how excited this makes me. Most of my favorite summer memories are spent during the evenings or nights with my friends... and I love summer evening pool parties.

So I'm off! Gonna go wriggle into my new bathing suit that I bought for Miss Riverton competition, grab a towel and pull on some flip flops, and jump in the pool!

So now the blogging thing is going to have to wait.

ahhh! :) I love summer.

Peace and love. Over and out.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Our Friend at Wendys

Random story time. Mom and I, every-so-often, make the three minute trip to the local Wendys for food. Sometimes we order dinner, other times we just pick up a couple of frosties. I promise we're not addicts- but over the course of the past year we have been to Wendys often enough that one of the workers there recognizes us. We always just happen to be there during his shift.

I call him (and of course it's a 'him'. It's always a 'him'.) our little Wendys friend. He's always super nice when we pull up at the drive-thru, even taking the time to chat with us for a minute or two if there isn't anyone waiting impatiently in line behind us. One time I was finally observant enough to read his name tag. Our friend's name is Kameron, apparently. But I still just call him 'Our Friend'.

Anyway, for the past couple of months Mom and I haven't see our friend when we go to Wendys.

When we pulled up to the window this evening for some dinner-to-go I asked Mom, "I wonder where our Wendys friend went?" thinking that maybe I just hadn't seen him because I'd been away at school. As one of the workers handed us our sack of food, Mom told me that she was under the impression he quit because she hadn't seen our lil' friend for a while.

And then, (lo and behold) our friend came around the corner, my Wendys strawberry shake in hand! I kindly took the shake from him and turned to my mom. "Is that him?" I whispered to her under my breath, my window still rolled down. Mom bent down to see the worker at the window and loudly replied. "Oh! It is him!" as he enthusiastically smiled back at us.

Mom and I chuckled the whole way home "I wonder if it was really obvious that we were talking about him? He must think we're the biggest weirdos..." and, "...I wonder if he still recognizes us?" I decided I was going to go home and blog about our friend while I enjoyed my strawberry shake. Sure, it's extremely random, and probably nobody cares... but oh well!

But then the story gets better.

So we arrived home and saw Brooklyn in the driveway. Her mouth gaped open when she noticed Mom clutching the Wendys bag. Oh dear. We knew that we needed to prepare ourselves for the typical "Why did you go and eat out without ME?!"

And now Brooklyn wants Wendys for dinner too. And of course, Bailee gets to drive her. But then Mom spontaneously hatched a plan. Why not go inside so I can say hi to our friend? Even better... why not get a picture with him for my blog??

When Mom first suggested it, I honestly thought she was kidding. Nope... she was dead serious. No way, I told her. I'd be too embarrassed. I'm already enough of a nerd. But it quickly became a challenge.

So I drove Brooklyn to Wendys and sure enough- when we walked inside he was behind the counter. So I explained the whole story to him, laughing, and asked if he would get a picture with me. ha!

"Yeah, that's awesome!" he replied. One of his coworkers took the picture. We talked for a bit while Brooklyn's food was ordered. I guess we went to the same high school until he transferred after his junior year.

So after ALL of that... I couldn't possibly go without a post about Our Wendys Friend. Now he probably feels like a celebrity... and I feel like an idiot. But what the heck... at least it made for an entertaining night. Oh man, I love life. And strawberry shakes on summer evenings. And of course, new friends too. ;)

The much-talked about hair crisis (evidence included)

 Here it is... the anticipated outcome of my hair debocle.
I'm ashamed to say that in the last two weeks
We have spent about $130 dollars on my hair.
I'm usually never that high-maintenance. But three hair appointments later,
I don't really have the proof to defend myself otherwise ;)
Nevertheless, after those three appointments,
Way too much money,
And a couple of tears later...
I'm happy to say that I've finally started warming up to my hair.
I think. ;)

One thing's for certain;
I'm not planning on getting my hair done again for quite a while.
But I am happy with the final product now. 
Happy enough to post some pictures on the bloggy. (which is pretty dang happy)
So there you have it.

I suppose every woman has to have a hair crisis at least once in their lifetime.
And it wouldn't be a crisis if it didn't happen 
At the most inconvenient of times.
Now that the pageant is over... no need to worry so much about the hair.
Can you talk about a big sigh of relief? :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I will be a queen.

Last Saturday was the Miss Riverton 2011 scholarship pageant. I learned so much about myself and my strengths and weaknesses.. The girls I ran with were all so beautiful and wonderful. I'm so lucky to have had the opportunity to learn a little bit about each of the them. I also got to work with Seandra Wilson again... our amazing pageant director. :)

The day of the pageant was long anticipated and every bit as exciting as I'd hoped for. I want to give a big thanks to Mom, Dad, Benjamin, Brooklyn, Grandma, Grandpa, Shalon Ramirez, Todd McNeill, Brittany Hathaway, Jonathan Cooper, the Perkins, and the Spencers for coming to support me. I am so happy for your guys' support... it meant the world to me to have someone I know cheering me on from the audience.

Everything went well. Interview, production number, swimsuit, talent, onstage question, evening wear... I enjoyed every minute of it. I felt extremely good about my talent. I repeatedly told myself that I had absolutely no reason to be nervous. Granted, I feed myself positive thoughts before every vocal performance I have and usually my positive vibes never seem to work. Usually. 
But the night of the pageant something worked. I was still nervous, but my nerves didn't affect my singing nearly as much as they have in the past. I had fun while performing. It was one of the first times I actually had fun without over-analyzing every bit of my voice.

And for that I am proud. I'm proud of myself for the confidence in my singing more than anything else that happened that night. Because being able to sing in front of people is a big deal for me. It's one of the biggest things holding me back from reaching my full potential in musical theatre. And Saturday night was a good start to overcoming that obstacle. I was able to let go and just enjoy myself. I didn't critique my voice. I just sang. It was a beautiful moment.

At the end of the night the twelve of us girls stood in a semi circle clasping hands... our hearts pounding. I was stuck at the end of the line... in the exact place I would have found myself one year earlier.

I'll be honest and say that my heart fell just a little when I was announced to be the 2nd Attendant.

Clarification: I'm extremely honored to have the opportunity to serve in the royalty again. What a blessing to have run two years in a row and to place both times. I mean, some girls run year after year and never even make royalty. 

But I was in a tricky place this year. Being 1st Attendant last year, the only way to move forward this year was to be crowned Miss Riverton. That was my only way up. I had to continuously tell myself that I couldn't be disappointed if I wasn't crowned. I knew it was a very real possibility that I wouldn't be crowned. Throughout this whole process I've told myself that I couldn't be disappointed, no matter the outcome.

I feel that I gave the pageant my best effort. I did everything in my power to be the best I could be. And I know that there is a specific reason that I'm not Miss Riverton this year. I don't know what that reason is... but I know that I'm supposed to be doing something else this year. Everything happens for a reason.
So while my spirits dropped just a little when I found out I was serving as an attendant for another year... I shook off that disappointment and immediately realized how blessed I am. I won $500 dollars scholarship money, a crystal trophy, and I have another year to grow and experience the blessings of serving Riverton City in the royalty. I am so happy!

People were surprised at first that I wasn't upset. "But aren't you technically a step below where you were last year?" some would ask. And technically, yes I am. But in reality I am a huge step higher than I was last year. I've grown as a woman and I've learned so much about myself. I sang on stage better than I've ever sung before. And I placed! I mean, let's look on the bright side for Pete's Sake!

And besides, Shakelle Valdez (Queen) and Audrey Oakeson (1st Attendant) are two beautiful girls and they deserve their titles. I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to work with them throughout the next year.

It's a hard role to play, attendant to a queen. But I know I will be a queen one day. I may never have a four-point crown or a sash that says "Miss Riverton" across the front... but I will be an even more important queen. I will be a queen to the man that I marry one day. I cannot wait to find a man who I love more than anything and who treats me like a queen. :) That's much better than any scholarship pageant (although I have finally embraced the fact that I am a pageant girl. I love them.)

Not to mention, being the daughter of a king... it is only fit that one day I be a queen. I am so blessed to have that knowledge. I am so blessed to know that no matter what happens here and now... these moments are really only tiny pieces of the big picture. I may have a hard day, or a small setback; but the glory that follows after will make those hard days and small setbacks seem so miniscule. Because one day I will be a queen. I will look back at the pageant one day and realize how small it is in comparison to the big picture. I will look back and, in hindsight, I'll realize why things worked out the way they did. It's like one of my favorite scriptures-

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation."
-D&C 58:3

So anyway, enough of the cheesiness. I'm excited. I'm not disappointed at all. This is just the present time and I have to live every day to the fullest and look forward to the things that are in my future. I have a wonderful opportunity and another great year ahead of me. I'm so thankful that I made the decision to run in the pageant again. I wouldn't trade it in for anything else.

Before I leave I have one more thanks to give. I have a big shout-out to Jessica Saunders, Miss Riverton 2010. I have watched her throughout the past year, and she has been such an amazing role model and example to me. She taught me so much about myself and about confidence, beauty, and faith. I couldn't have served under a better queen last year. She is incredible... and I'm rooting for her in the Miss Utah Pageant this year. Thanks for all of your kind and genuine words Jessica! Love you!

And thanks to everyone else who helped me with the pageant. People who helped with Jewelry, CMN donations, dress shopping, hair, and anything else. I couldn't have done it without you!

Much love everyone. xoxo.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Ohh, Life Goes On.

It's been a long night.
Another show I didn't make it into.
I know that there's a reason for this. 
There's something else 
I'm supposed to be learning/doing this summer.
I just haven't figured out what it is yet.
So no summer show... This is a first in a long while.

Also, I had a hair appointment today.
I think every girl has a hair crisis 
At one point or another in their lives.

I'm a redhead now.
I don't think it's absolutely ugly-
But I don't know how I feel about it yet.
We're probably going back to get it changed 
And put more brown back into it.

Going into my appointment, 
I had no intentions of changing my hair this color
But it's definitely auburn.

Maybe I'll muster up the courage to put a picture on here.
Not tonight though. 
Tomorrow, maybe.

I need to learn not to care so much what others think.
I need to decide to be satisfied with own choice and opinion.
And not let anyone else influence my confidence.

Getting rid of this whole "overly self conscious of what others think" habit would solve a lot of problems in my life. Insecurities about the way I look, nerves that affect the way I sing in front of others, becoming embarrassed really easily, and many other negative qualities that all stem from the fact that I worry too much about others' opinions. But it's easier said than done. I try and work on it. But sometimes I still start to think too much. I start to care too much. And it gets to me.

It really was a long night. I've definitely seen better days. But after a reassuring talk with my aunt over the phone, going on a walk through the neighborhood outside with a good friend, and then taking a nice long shower and eating a heaping spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate chips, I feel somewhat better. At least for tonight. Now, laying in bed I realize how tired I am and how much that may be affecting my mood.

Tomorrow is a new day. And despite all of the challenges and twists and turns this week, it's still been a good week so far. Things will be different when I wake up. It's a brand new day with brand new challenges and opportunities. Best to push everything from today behind me and start over tomorrow.

Goodnight reader, whoever you may be. Much love

P.S. I would like to mention I have been diligent about lightening up on the peanut butter and chocolate chips habit. I haven't had a single spoonful since before I came home from college. But us girls need that comfort once in a while. Boy did it taste delicious. And I deserved every bite. ;)


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

June Baby.

This is the book I got for my birthday. The book takes you through each day of the year (2 pages for each day) and provides you with your birthday forecast, fixed star information, numerological profiles, and more. I don't bank my life on astrology. But I find it entertaining. For me, It's kind of like... a fortune cookie :) I've had a lot of friends who have scowered the book for their birthday and read up on their information. Everyone seems to enjoy looking through it and finding their 'Fatal Attractions' or discovering their 'Secret Self'.

I'm writing down the names of people I know inside my birthday book, under the correct page. Then I can know when all of my friends' birthdays are and see if I fall under any of their "Special Someone" categories.

Anyway... I'm not posting everything, because there are two whole pages of information. But here are the opening paragraphs under my birthday.

June 3,

This birthday shows you to be mentally sharp and determined, sociable and bright, with a strong need for self-expression. With your sensitivity and deep feelings, you are often an idealist. Since you may particularly enjoy initiating new projects, it is vital to keep yourself creatively occupied or actively working to fulfill your great potential. 

A strong influence of Venus in the second decanate of Gemini intensifies the importance of dealing with people. You are likely to be creative and have amusing friends, and you may posses a heightened perception of beauty, color, and form. A light-hearted and quick-witted aspect of your personality may suggest that you enthusiastically seek entertainment. Venus's influence also points to the dangers of vanity, indecision, or self-indulgence. When in top form, however, you are able to combine your social and creative skills with the ability to be inventive, hard-working, and persistent in order to succeed.

As well as having skilled powers of communication, you may possess a desire to know yourself at a deeper level. This quest for wisdom implies that you often seek answers to the more profound questions of life, which eventually leads you to explore more spiritual or mystical areas. If these needs are ignored, you may allow the more introspective side of your nature to become too self-involved, making you overly serious, irritable, or even depressed. In contrast, however, you can be extremely charming and idealistic, with a fertile imagination and inspired thinking. 

At the age of eighteen, when your progressed Sun moves into Cancer for the next thirty years, you are likely to become more sensitive and security-conscious, with a strong accent on your home life and family. When the progressed sun moves into Leo at the time when you reach the age of forty-eight, there is a strong need for self-expression and assertiveness, which may inspire you to become more gregarious and adventurous.

Sound anything like me? ;) tee hee.

Also, if you are born on the following dates, you are my soulmate!
May 30, June 28, July 26, August 24, September 22, September 30, October 20, October 28, November 18, November 26, December 16, and December 24.

Maybe one day YOUR name will be written down in my birthday book :)

Monday, June 6, 2011

12:25 and barefoot.

mmmmm how I love summer time. Being able to step outside after midnight in my Sunday skirt and short-sleeved blouse, take off my shoes and socks, and walk across the warm pavement barefoot is one of my most favorite things ever. Hands down.

After driving a friend home tonight I got out of my car and wanted nothing but to sprawl out on the front lawn and look up at the trillions of stars scattering the black sky. I wanted to run through the sprinklers, take a stroll around the block, or sit on the front porch steps and listen to the crickets chirp or feel the breeze running through my hair.

After pausing at the doorstep for a couple of moments and admiring the stillness, warmth, and beauty of the summer night I went back inside the house. No star-gazing, no sprinklers, no midnight walks. Not tonight anyway. I have a busy week ahead of me and I need my beauty sleep. But I can't wait for more summer nights like tonight where I can sit outside all night long and talk with friends about life's profound questions, have a campfire and roast marshmallows and starbursts, or go to a late-night swim party and summer barbecue and laugh all night.

The warm evenings and late nights are the single most amazing parts of Summer for me. No question to it. Granted, I just love all of Summer. All. Of. It. And I can't wait for more nights like tonight. :)

... It's going to be a good week. I can feel it.

Much love, xoxo.

Friday, June 3, 2011

birthday #19

The day went a whole lot better than I was expecting. Lucky for me, my nasty cold/virus that had kept me in bed the day before slowed to a minimum, leaving me only with a tiny bit of a stuffy nose.

I woke up fairly early and saw a message from my sweet sister Brooklyn written on the whiteboard in the hallway. Then I got a phone call from my best friend Elise! She sang happy birthday to me on the phone and then visited with me as I got ready for work. What a wonderful friend.  I couldn't have asked for a better start to my birthday.

After talking on the phone with Elise, and then enjoying another phone call with my Grandma Mandy, I went to work at the Port of Subs. I love my work. The people there are my coworkers AND my friends, and I enjoy my time at the POS. ;) I walked in the store  at 9 to a  cheerful Shalon wishing me a happy birthday. Kat, Laura, Jay, and other coworkers and customers wished me 'happy birthday!' throughout the day too. During my break I treated myself to one of my favorite sandwiches... Then I really spoiled myself by having an extra large Dr. Pepper with my lunch. I've been really diligent about the 'no drinking soda' goal since school got out. My birthday was the only exception.

I finished my shift at two, and walked into a house filled with the aromas of my birthday "cake". I told Mom this year that I wanted her to make her infamous wagon-wheel cookies for my birthday instead of a real cake. Usually I'm a traditional candles-on-the-cake kind of a girl, but Mom rarely makes her wagon-wheel cookies because of how time consuming they are (and how quickly they are always eaten!) The only other time I didn't have a cake on my birthday was when I had Mom make peanut butter frosts instead. Which is also delectable.

Anyway, I hopped in the shower while Mom finished baking the chocolatey powdered sugar cookies . I got a call from Grandma Pack, and then we hit the road to take some of my birthday cookies to the girls at the POS and then to shop for birthday gifts! :) hehe

I didn't really know what I wanted for my birthday this year. I had a couple of items I kind of wanted, but I wasn't dying to have anything in particular.

First I looked into getting a Stufty Pascal. Unfortunately Pascal isn't in stores anymore, so we are ordering him online. Hopefully he'll be here in a couple of days! :)

After visiting work and dropping off some birthday treats to share, Mom and I stopped at Barnes & Noble for a book I wanted for my birthday. "The Power of Birthdays, Stars, and Numbers The Complete Personology Reference Guide" by Saffi Crawford and Geraldine Sullivan. It's 831 pages long... and it could almost be mistaken for a college textbook. It's a book about astrology. I'm not really one of those people that banks their life on astrology, but I think it's entertaining to look through.

After the bookstore we went to this silver/jewelry kiosk at the mall. When I was in Europe 3-4 years ago I bought an Irish-traditional claddaugh ring in Penzance. I wore it every day until one day at Weber State last semester I managed to lose it! I was heartbroken. Back when I lost my ring I decided I was going to get a new claddaugh ring for my birthday. Although it's not from England, I got a new sterling silver claddaugh ring :) It's pretty and I love it ALMOST as much as my old one.

Then it was time for dinner with the family! It's tradition that the birthday boy/girl gets to choose somewhere to eat out for dinner that night. Again, I didn't have anywhere in particular I was dying to go... so we ate at The Golden Corral. I must say, their dinner isn't nearly as delicious as their breakfast... especially when taking the Friday-Night Family Crowds into consideration, but we still enjoyed our dinner together.

When we returned home from dinner I had a call from my friend Todd. He had a birthday present for me! What a sweetheart. He came by the house and I was excited to see that I had gotten my very own copy of The Emperor's New Groove! Todd and some of the other friends I've met in the singles ward continuously harass me about how I'm deprived because I've never seen the movie all the way through. We're planning on finally watching it this Sunday... so I suppose my life will finally be complete.

After visiting with Todd, I had an invite from the Port of Subs girls to go to a 1:15 am movie at the Drive Inn!! I was very tempted to join them in the late-night fun, but I decided to live up to my nineteen-year-old responsibilities and skip the movie since I'm still fighting a cold. Can't be sick for the pageant in a week!

Instead, Mom and I hit up an earlier showing of "Something Borrowed" at Jordan Commons.  Before we left Mom put candles on a mountain of cookies and the family sang to me. I love my family!

On the ride to the movies I scowered the pages of my birthday book looking at my soulmates and fatal attractions. hehe. ;) a bunch of hoo-hah? Maybe so. A bunch of fun? Definitely so! At the movies I had another Dr. Pepper and Mom and I shared a bowl of popcorn. The movie wasn't nearly as cute as what I'd hoped for... but I had fun spending the last bit of my birthday with my Momma. Also,  if you're not tired of reading after my long-winded post; you should check out her cute blog post "Bailee Boo's Birthday". Thanks Mom! Love you :)

All in all, it was an amazing day.

Also... I am one of the luckiest people I know. I have some of the most awesome friends anyone could ask for!! I was shocked to see over eighty five people who had posted a Happy Birthday message on my Facebook. And although some of these people I don't talk to very often, it was still considerate of them to hop on my wall and jot down a sweet-something. I feel so loved by the many wonderful people I know. I also had several text messages sent to me throughout the day. So thank you to EVERYONE who made this birthday special. Having so many loving people in my life is one of the best birthday gifts I could ask for. The day really wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful if it weren't for my loving family and friends. 

Love you all! And thanks to everyone for a great nineteenth birthday.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

on my mind.

I'm home sick today. Had to take work off and everything. Sitting around at home all day isn't good for me. I get cranky. And then I have too much time to think about how sick I feel, and how my birthday is tomorrow and it sucks to be sick on your birthday, and how I have nothing fun planned for my birthday... just dinner with the family and another day of work. And how I love my job and the people and the money but how my summer just feels boring. And how I need to prepare more for Miss Riverton. Then I get anxious. Then I tell myself not to get my hopes up. I think about how easy it is it get your hopes up. Some things I have planned for this summer might not work out. Maybe even none of it will work out. Then that reminds me about how I'm probably not going to be in a summer show like I wanted to be. Which is okay, I tell myself. But then I think about some of the friends who made the show I wanted to be in. One friend in particular. And then I think about how some old friends can't be your friends anymore and sometimes that stinks. Then I think about friendship. Then I start to think about my other friends. And that makes me think of my new best friend. And how far away Colorado is. Then I remember how much time and distance separates us, and that makes me miss her even more. Then I think about how I'm trying to make new friends during my summer in Riverton. And how it's kind of working, but kind of not. But I still have a lot of time left to make friends and create memories before Summer is over. And then there's a lot of other stuff on my mind too. Like goals, temple work, the singles ward, boys, dating, camping, singing, learning how to harmonize better, exercise, how bad I am at sports, eating healthy, summer reading, blogging, tanning, getting my hair done, traveling, trying to feel more confident and beautiful, taking more pictures, change, family, and other typical, random things. I'm just trying to learn how to be the best version of myself I can be. Learning about life, and all that stuff. And then I realize my head hurts. And not only because I'm sick today.

It's just a lot to think about. :)