Sunday, November 27, 2011

Be Patient With Yourself.


I saw this video in my Sunday school lesson today.
I definitely was supposed to be with the Riverton YSA 1st Ward this week,
Because I know I needed to hear this message.

"To the individual who is weak in the heart, fearful in the heart. Be patient with yourself. Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life. Don't demand things that are unreasonable... but demand of yourself improvement. As you let The Lord help you through that he will make the difference."

 I'm so grateful to have a Heavenly Father who knows me well enough
To guide me to a place where I can learn what I need to learn.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Sunday.
Much love.


*Two of my newest favorite things are White V-Neck Mens Shirts and skinny jeans.

*There's only one week of fall semester classes left. That's five days. And counting.

*Sometimes at the end of a long day you just have to drop everything on the floor at the foot of your bed and crawl under the covers.  (Even if it does leave a mess.) Forget about putting away anything that may be out of place. It can wait until tomorrow.

*Every time I wake up in the middle of the night because Brother is sick again, it still scares me... even though I've done it more times than I probably have fingers to count. I hate being catapulted back into that Primary children hospital/screaming pains/passing out/nighttime trips to the hospital time of his {our} life.

*Chocolate chocolate chip cookies have never tasted so good. Especially when they're fresh out of the oven.

*I've always loved my name. I love the spelling of my name because of how unique it is... however, I think it's more fun to write Bailey in cursive when you spell it with a Y. Because Y's in cursive are just more fun than E's.

*I hate ladybugs. You try eating one, and then maybe you'll be able to relate.

*My bed at my family's home is so much comfier than my bed at school. Sometimes I forget until I come back home and realize how much better I sleep while I'm here.

*One of my pet-peeves is when someone asks me "Are you left-handed?" while they are watching me write with my left hand.

*I am the proud owner of a Harry Potter Coloring Book. Be jealous.

*I am not ashamed to admit that I started listening to Christmas music a week before Thanksgiving this year, despite my strong beliefs to do otherwise.

*I have the chronic hiccups. I hiccup at least once every day. Sometimes people tell me my hiccups sound like a frog being run over by a car. Sometimes people tell me my hiccups sound like a Nazg├╗l from Lord of the Rings. Other times people just look at me with a funny stare. I don't know which is the worst reaction.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Today i am grateful...

1. For family. For their tolerance, their love, their support, and their examples. I seriously have the best parents and siblings.

2. For an education. For Weber State. For getting a degree doing what I love. For inspiring professors, accepting classmates, and unforgettable experiences.

3. For music and the way it makes me feel. To help me discover, create, and express.

4. For books. For a quiet escape to a world more colorful and adventurous than my own.

5. For second chances. Because no failure ever need be final. For another opportunity to get it right.

6. For hot chocolate. To warm my tummy and my heart.

7. For hot showers. To feel clean and refreshed.

8. For dance. For an emotional outlet, for exercise, and for free expression.

9. For yellow kitchen walls. So I can walk in the front door and feel happy and at home.

10. For blogging. So I can look back and remember small things, special things. So I can pretend to be creative. So I can write.

11. For snow-covered mountains.

12. For hugs.

13. For weekends. To relax, catch my breath, socialize, and sleep.

14. For peanut butter. With chocolate chips, on a slice of toast, with goldfish crackers, on a sandwich... love me some peanut butter.

15. For naps. Whenever I actually have time to take one.

16. For the Folk Dance Team. To be surrounded by lovely people. To dance, to perform, and to feel the spirit.

17. For a dishwasher. So I don't have to do the dishes by hand anymore.

18. For cell phones. So I can call Mom every day. For communication

19. For Elise Vander Does and Brittany Hathaway. For their friendship and loyalty. For the laughing, the crying, the advice, and the memories.

20. For locks on the doors. To feel safe.

21. For prayer. For the best and most convenient form of communication.

22. For the smell of sagebrush and pine after it rains.

23. For talents. To share with others, to grow and learn from, and to feel confident about.

24. For Summer. For warm nights and long days. To have a break from school.

25. For starry nights.

26. For The Associated Actors and Technicians. To feel involved and responsible. To be with friends.

27. For the temple. So I can have an eternal family, feel the spirit, and receive my endowment. So I can be married for eternity.

28. For good health. For medical care and good hospitals.

29. For boys. For gentlemen, for going out on dates. For a future spouse. ;)

30. For my puppy. To greet me when I come home.

31. For sugary sweets.

32. For freedom. For the beautiful country in which I live

33. For airplanes. To travel, to see amazing new things and to travel to exciting places.

34. For computers. For the internet, and for easy access to so much information

35. For white clouds

36. For rainstorms. For thunder, lightning, and the sound of rain on the windowpane.

37. For campfires.

38. For the atonement. To be forgiven of my sins. For the knowledge that Jesus Christ knows and understands anything and everything I may struggle with.

39. For quotes.

40. For colors.

41. For chicken noodle soup.

42. For my car. So I don't have to walk in the cold. So I can always drive back home.

43. For photographs. To capture memories. To freeze time.

44. For fuzzy socks. To keep me warm and happy.

45. For friends and for good conversation with friends.

46. For the Singles Ward. To meet new friends. For a ward family. For a loving bishop.

47. For the priesthood.

48. For laughter. For smiles.

49. For toothpaste. To have minty breath and clean teeth.

50. For love.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Honorary Sister

I thought yesterday was going to be dreary. Shelby mentioned in music theory that the air was like dementors were lurking in the sky... and I couldn't have agreed more. But then Maurie took us out to breakfast for class. And things were all uphill from there. 

I got to visit with Karina a little bit, which was much needed and very nice. She was sweet enough to give me a ride back to my apartment because I left my thumb drive for an English project at home. Then I got to talk to Daddy on the phone for a little while. It's official; I am so ready to be home for the holidays. I miss my family (and I'm excited to let someone else cook yummy food for me!) and I'm ready for a break from Ogden and school for just a little while. I had a successful conference with my English teacher (apparently she loves my writing!), I finished my last speech in Communications, and then I got to eat some pizza at the Open AAT Member Meeting.

Then in Acting for Musical Theatre, Shelby told me something that just made life more fun and Bre invited me to her house for a ladies night! The Xanadu cast and crew were having a girls night... but they were sweet enough to invite me to party with them! I was so excited! I haven't had a girls night in a long time. 

Before the ladies night, I drove to Riverton to see my brother in Annie Get Your Gun. I stopped at Port of Subs on the way home and ordered a sandwich. I miss POS sandwiches! They're so delicious. It was fun to visit with Bri and Brittany, my old coworkers. Bri is getting married soon and invited me to her Bachelorette Party/Bridal Shower. I got an invitation from her and I'm excited to go to her shower this Saturday.

I enjoyed a little time at home (and may have tried on a few Christmas Presents so Mom could make sure they fit!) and then I went to the high school with Grandma, Grandpa, Mom and Brooklyn to see Ben perform. I also saw a couple of friends while I was there. It was such a fun show! Ben did a fantastic job, and I really enjoyed the evening. It made me want to be in a musical again, though.

After the show, I made the drive back up to Ogden and went to Bre's house for the ladies night! I was a bit late because of my brother's show, but we watched House Bunny and ate yummy treats and enjoyed each other's company. I was so happy that the Xanadu Sisters let me join them for the night! I felt like an honorary sister. I was so lucky to be there with all those ladies! I love them, they're so great :)

I got home around one in the morning, so it made for a late night... but it was worth it. I love when potentially-dreary days prove me wrong!

Just a recap of all the lovely things I enjoyed yesterday...

Breakfast in music theory
Karina time
Phone call with Daddy
Compliment from English Professor
No more speeches in Communications
Invite to ladies night
Port of Subs Sandwich
Family time
Annie Get Your Gun
Ladies Night

What did I say about being happy now? Looks like its working :)
I have a great day ahead of me today and tomorrow. And then Thanksgiving Break!
Life is good.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Maybe the Grass Isn't Green

Too often I think we look at situations in life with a "Grass is always greener on the other side" kind of an attitude. I know that I do it sometimes. I hear those thoughts creeping into my mind all of the time lately.

"I know I'll be happier once fall semester is over"
"I'll be so much more happy when I've finished this English assignment"
"I just need to wait until Friday, then things will be happier."
"Once I get married, I will be happy."
"Just get through this rehearsal today, then I will be a happy camper."
"Once I'm finished with my generals, I will be so happy."

I think we can all hear ourselves saying something along these lines. When we live in such a demanding, stressful world it's not difficult to have that attitude. But why should we waste so much of our time waiting for something happier to happen to us?

The time for change is NOW. Not five minutes from now, not tomorrow, not next week, not in a year or two. NOW. And if we waste so much of our time waiting around for happiness in our futures, we're going to miss out on a lot of happy that could be happening NOW. 

And let's face it: when that happiness in our futures finally comes, we'll probably find other things to be unhappy about. Such is life, my friends. There will always be things to stress about or be unhappy about.

So we should change our attitudes, and we should decide to be happy now. Not five minutes from now, not tomorrow, not next week, not in a year or two. NOW. Not after fall semester, or after the boring english assignment, or this Friday. Not once we're married or once we're finished with college. NOW.

So maybe the grass isn't green. Maybe it is November and it's ugly and brown outside. It's cold, the leaves have fallen, there isn't any snow on the ground to make things pretty, it's the end of the semester, I have way too much homework, my knees hurt, I'm sleep-deprived, and I'm sure there are a million other things to be unhappy about. But gosh dangit, I'm going to be happy NOW. Why wait until this weekend? Why wait until Thanksgiving break or the end of the semester or the new year? I'm going to be happy today. I am going to enjoy the small things, take every day one-step-at-a-time, and relish in my wonderful life.

And you should, too.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sometimes I feel like this:


I just became really happy all of the sudden...
Nine days until Thanksgiving.
Thirty nine days until Christmas.

so So SO SO SO Excited.

Hot chocolate
Holiday music
Pretty lights
Warm houses
Sugar cookies
Pine trees
Jingle bells
Rosy Cheeks
A Christmas Carol
Warm heaters
Christmas decorations
Frosty the Snowman
No school
The Grinch
Green wreaths
Fuzzy socks
Ice skating
It's a Wonderful Life
Homemade rolls

I'm so impatient. And I'm so over my classes. Can the holidays please come quickly?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Another Show Come and Gone

Sleepy Hollow the musical closed last night.
My professor asked me to be in this musical a few months ago,
And I was so excited to be a part of his show.

I played the role of Daemon,
Or the Headless Horseman's Horse.
I know it sounds really odd... I played a horse in a show...
But the musical is the story of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow
With a twist.
The Headless Horseman and his horse are really a groom and bride
(Dietrich and Sabine/Daemon)
Who had a curse placed on them the night of their wedding.

In the end of the show, the curse is lifted and we are reunited
As humans once again. 
The picture above is taken right after the curse has been lifted.
 Yep, that's me! It kind of reminds me of a Disney fairytale. 
Big moon, silhouettes... so pretty.

It was a good experience, but I'm very relieved for the show to be over.
Thirty minutes is a long drive and the show is a huge commitment
When you're a full-time college student.

Sleepy Hollow was a very humbling experience.
Daemon was one of the hardest roles I've had to play,
Because it really is all of the work and none of the praise.
Which is okay, I don't need praise.
But dancing in a horse head and leather pants,
(That don't allow for much leg movement)
And leading around a blind dance partner,
Was extremely difficult.
And it was a lot of time commitment.

But the people were awesome,
And the music and script are wonderful.
I'm glad I got to be in a show at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre
Directed by the talented Jim Christian.

Great show to everyone in the cast of Sleepy Hollow! Keep in touch. Love you all :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

It must be the end of the semester, or something.

The real reason I'm posting today is because it's 11-11-11. I just felt like I should write something on the blog today, since nothing as cool as 11-11-11 will ever happen again in my lifetime. :) I would stay up until 11:11 to make a wish, but I have a 6am dance practice with the folkers tomorrow. And this girl needs her beauty sleep!

Speaking of sleep (or the lack thereof) I am definitely starting to feel the end-of-semester insanity kicking in these days. I wonder why? Let's take a look at my list.

Sleepy Hollow (we close tomorrow!)
Orchesis Wardrobe Crew
18 class credit hours
90 practicum hours
AAT treasurer duties
Folk Dance secretary duties
Folk Dance Christmas show
Directing scene
Church calling


Let's just say that I can't WAIT until Thanksgiving break. I can't wait for the end of the semester, actually. But we're taking things a day at a time here... so I'll look to the Thanksgiving Holiday first. I need a nice relaxing trip to Grandma and Grandpa Pack's house. I need to get out of O-town for a couple of days, drive into the mountains, stay in my grandparents beautiful log home, and spend time with my precious family.

Meanwhile though, there are some wonderful things in my life to keep me going amidst all of the stress.

Learning how to clog
Getting a 64/65 on my english essay
Dinner with parents tomorrow
Going to see Xanadu
Practicing the Waltz in Folk Dance
Hot chocolate
Getting to see Ben in Annie Get Your Gun
Singing "Baby It's Cold Outside"
Eating cereal for dinner at 11pm with Katie
Sugar free Jell-O
The Sing Off and Vampire Diaries
Watching "The Grape Lady" on YouTube
Letters from Elise
New dance shoes

Thank goodness for the little things that give me a chance
To take a breath, smile, and enjoy life.
Four weeks until the semester is over (and counting!)

Oh yeah, and for those of you asking what "The Grape Lady" might be... take a look.

Haha. That poor woman.
I don't know which is worse: The bruises,
Or falling like that on television?

Much love everyone. Happy 11-11-11!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


I got these from somebody tonight, and I've just been all smiles.
Receiving things like flowers always makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Aren't they pretty?

...I love my flowers.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I think my voice is improving. Which gosh dangit it should be, considering how much I'm trying to work on it. Between my Acting for Musical Theatre class and my voice lessons with Maurie, things are moving right along. I'm gaining more confidence to sing in front of my friends, I'm making new discoveries about my voice, and I've actually found myself volunteering to sing for a couple of events. (I'm usually the last person to volunteer singing at a church meeting, concert, or recital.) I'm beginning to look forward to vocal performance opportunities a lot more than I used to.

So why in the heck does my voice freak out every time I sing at a callback? That's not a real question, because I know the answer. It's nerves. All of my training and all of my improvements go down the drain when I sing at a callback, and it's so frustrating. I try to keep calm, I try to swallow back my shivers and butterflies, but every time my nerves get the best of me. Every. Time. And the worst part? I know I can sing the piece that I'm being asked to sing. I know it. I've usually just practiced the exact same piece effortlessly earlier in my voice lesson. I've hit notes stronger and higher before. I've done so much better before. So sure, other people might tell me that I didn't sound BAD in my callback... but it's just the fact that I know I can do BETTER. It's walking away from a callback and feeling like I didn't reach my potential. 

But despite how much I tell myself I have everything under control, for some reason when I sing at a callback my nerves take over and my voice reverts back to it's old habits. My voice goes back to the whole swallowed, airy, breathy, nasty thing that it always used to do.

Especially when I sing more classically, like I did today.

At least I don't sound like that all the time anymore. At least I can nail my initial audition. At least I can sing in church now without sounding completely horrible. At least I can stand up in my Acting for Musical Theatre class and be somewhat satisfied by my performance.

So yeah... I have gotten better. And even before my 'better' days, there are people out there who sound worse than I did. So I have a lot to be thankful for and proud of. But man, callbacks are killin' me! 

Practice, Practice, Practice...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Times Like This

I was going through some files on my computer today, organizing documents and photos... when I came across some random videos that Elise and I made last semester. Can I just say how much I miss her?? 

Of course I can. This is my blog.
Well I miss her. I miss her a whole lot these days. And after watching something like this, who could even think to question why I might miss her so much? 
Who else would ever do stuff like this with me? We are so random and ridiculous. I laughed so hard watching this video. Granted, anyone else who might watch this will probably look at it and seriously reevaluate whether or not they want to be my friend. (I'm sure I just lost a couple of dates, showing this video.) It's okay, I don't blame you ;) Anyway I digress...
Goodness, I forget how different it is this year without her until I watch video clips like this or look at pictures from last year. And let me tell you- things are way different. Not necessarily bad, just different. But one thing's for sure, I miss having her around.
I miss being able to hop in the car to drive all of three minutes to her house (now my house). I miss talking about boys. Sometimes it kills me not being able to have a best friend around to have girly talks with! I miss having someone to go to the dances, firesides, department shows, and parties with me. There have been several times this semester when I've gone to a dance or a fireside by myself. I'm tired of barging in on people's lives and inviting myself to go to activities with them all the time, asking if I can tag along. It's during times like that when I sure could use a friend like Elise. I miss having a true friend who I can call up or be with at any given moment. That's who Elise was (and is) for me. And I'm lucky enough to be able to be that for her too. I couldn't be more grateful. 

Elise and I just understand each other more than anyone else I know (aside from Mom and Brittany). When I talk to people about our friendship they're usually shocked that we haven't even known each other for a year. To be honest, I'm even shocked to think that a year ago Elise wasn't a part of my life. I don't know how I got by without her! It's definitely a hard feat now, only being able to talk with her through letters.

I can't even imagine how it's going to be when we get to see each other again. I'm imagining lots of hugs, lots of screaming, lots of laughter... it will probably be crazy. And I mean caraayyzzyyy. I wonder how different we'll both be? It boggles my mind to think about it. Sometimes a year-and-a-half seems so far away; but when I stop and think about how quickly this semester has flown by, I feel like a year-and-a-half is nothing. I can't wait until she's back! Man, what a team we'll be!

 But until then I look forward to her letters and remember that even if she's not in Ogden, I have a best friend who will always be there for me.
Still though, I can't wait until she comes back.

Guilty Pleasure #43

I am a firm believer that the Christmas tree shouldn't go up until the end of November, and that Christmas music shouldn't be played until after the Thanksgiving holiday.

But tonight while I was driving home from the show at one thirty in the morning... I may or may not have listened to FM 106.5 Christmas radio. The snow was silently floating down and sparkly powder dusted the mountainside. The night was cool and crisp and it felt like magic in the air (what with this being the first weekend we've had snow this season.) The car heater was humming and I felt so happy and warm inside.

... I just couldn't help myself.

Think of it as a sneak-preview. I won't let it happen again though. I don't want to be fed-up with all of the Christmas songs before we're even halfway through December. Come Thanksgiving weekend I can load my Christmas Music Playlist onto my ipod and listen to those holiday jingles to my little heart's content. But for now I can wait.

It was only a little indulgence.
And now I hear a cup of hot cocoa calling my name...

But gosh... I enjoyed listening to those happy little tunes.
I just love this time of year!
Yeah -- I'm shameless.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

If, Because, and Even Though

I'm sitting up in bed and keeping warm with three big blankets, a big hoodie, and my favorite warm fuzzy socks. I was about to call it a night and catch up on some sleep, but I couldn't stop admiring the night time view outside my window... we had our first snow of the season, and it looks absolutely beautiful outside. 

So what do I do? I blog, naturally.

Today in our large-group institute meeting I heard something that really hit me. I don't know why, but it kinda stuck with me. I actually really liked the idea. It was all about love (Bailee talking about love on her blog? Now that's weird.) There are three different ways in which we go about loving someone.
Sometimes we love someone if...
Sometimes we love someone because...
And sometimes we love someone even though...

Hopefully everyone has experienced all three kinds of love. We all know about loving someone if... Maybe we love someone if they give us a certain satisfaction. Maybe we love someone if they prove something valuable to us. Or perhaps we love someone if they meet all of our requirements. I think this kind of love can potentially be very selfish. When we love someone if, we only love that person on certain terms. After all, IF is not ALWAYS.

To love someone because is what happens after someone fulfills the IF part of the first kind of love. Maybe we love someone because they give us a certain satisfaction. Maybe we love someone because they proved something valuable to us. Or perhaps we love someone because they meet all of our requirements. When we love someone because, that someone gave us a reason to love them. Honestly, I think that the first two kinds of love will sometimes go hand-in-hand.

The third kind of love is the strongest. What is it to love someone even though? I think to love someone even though is to love someone with their faults. This kind of love is unconditional. Even though we may not like something about someone, even though someone may have hurt us in the past, even though we may disagree with someone, or even though someone made a mistake, we choose to love them anyway. I think it's hard to try and really love someone even though.

I know our Savior loves us even though. I would hope with all of my heart that families love each other even though, but I know that sometimes this is not the case. I'm lucky enough to know that my family loves me even though sometimes I'm stupid. It's a hard thing... to love someone even though. I think it's something everyone should work towards. Loving even though. Everyone deserves to be loved even though. We all want to be loved even though.

Anyway, I know that this is all really random. I had never heard it before though, and I wanted to write about it before I forgot. I just felt that it was... profound.

I guess it's because I know that I'm not perfect. I'm really grateful for the people who love me even though. Maybe remembering that about myself will help me to be better about loving others even though

It's a daunting task... but think about the unity that would come from everyone striving for the third kind of love. 

It could be really powerful.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

just something fun.

Fashion. Music. Dancing. Love it.
A fun little taste of simple happiness for your day. :) enjoy!